Ever have that class?? The one that drains you and makes you work harder than taking care of a one year old? The one that makes you think about going back to waiting tables where you don't bring your work home? The one that makes you feel like a bad person because you feel the way you do? The one that... you get it. No??? Me neither... until this last year.
This is probably part of the reason why I took a hiatus from blogging for over half a year! I was stressed out enough figuring out how to balance being a new mom, school, and home life at the beginning of the year that September and October were overwhelming. However, I felt like I just got the hang of it and then, BOOM, the honeymoon period with my class was over. I won't go into all the griping details, but I was so, very tired.
Just the year before, I felt like I was climbing this teaching career mountain and never wanted to reach my peak because the only place to go from there was down. Instead, I feel like I fell off somewhere on the other side and I don't know what happened. Anyway, here are 10 things this last year's class taught me that also helped me get back on my feet:
10. You may need to lower your expectations... sometimes.
Yes, I did lower my expectations for some kids. For example, I told two kids (who are usually hanging out in Mars) during a small group that I only wanted them to do ONE math problem in the 30 minute block. That's all. ONE. I told them to use their notes and come ask me questions if they didn't understand (because I'm always coming to them & I want them to use their tools/resources). These kids are bright and capable and I even probed throughout the 30 minutes. Do I get that ONE math problem? No. From either kid? No.
9. Learn to laugh. Have a drink. Take a break & don't bring work home.
Now I can laugh about not getting that ONE math problem. It was brutal at the time, but it's pretty darn funny now! Yes, there were nights I thoroughly enjoyed my glass of wine. And yes, I took time away from bringing work home to get my mind off everything and spend time with my hubby & kid. Taking care of my family and my own sanity were necessary for trucking along.
8. Find a good/trustworthy person you can go to & vent.
Make sure you don't go talking to someone who will go around telling your concerns or private talks about kids. But in order to get all the frustrations off your chest, you'll need a good support system. My husband probably heard this many times: "_(so and so)___ couldn't find his pencil again..." Again, refer to #9.
7. Pick and choose your battles
Ok, if everything sucks, you can't harp on every little thing. For me, I didn't nit pick the end of day trash pick up as much as I typically do. Yes, even if it bugged me when they were gone, I just let it go. The room does get vacuumed. I just said thank you to my custodians more often! Pick and choose what to focus on. Then do #8 and #9.
6. Be real with the students.
They get it. Especially in 5th grade. We had talks about how our class (as a whole) is good, but our main problem was that kids are receptive to off task behavior and then join in, or they just can't control the talking or focus. We discussed self-control quite a bit. It did help. I could say, "John, remember self-control?" and they'd all refocus... even if it was for 5 minutes. :)
5. Stop asking what is wrong with you!
I can't even tell you how many times I thought all my skills went out the window and I just felt something was wrong with me. I continuously tried and reflected on what I could do and not blame the kids. But when I pick them up from all their specials classes, I tend to hear other teachers saying something along the lines of focus, transitions, control the talking, etc. See! It's not just me! Yeah, I probably could have done some things different, but sometimes it's not totally your fault. It's theirs too. Haha!
4. Don't forget your good kids. They need you too.
In the midst of kids who refuse to work, kids who don't listen, etc., remember not let them get to you so much so that you only focus on them. There are others in the class who come ready to go, ready to learn, ready to help, ready to make someone smile. Focus on them sometimes and give them your undivided attention.
3. Remember even those kids are good kids.
This one may be hard. Especially during report card time when you need to sandwich the "needs work on x, y, z" with the positives. BUT, this also kept me going. Celebrate the small victories and successes with each child, even if the positive momentum only lasts less than a week... or on some days, a couple of hours. Again, follow #8 & #9.
2. Don't judge.
When people used to tell me: "I was given that class," or "It's my group," I judged. Classroom management is something I would consider my strength and in hearing all the issues, I would be the good listener, but think to myself, "He/she just needs to try x, y, or z method," or "He/she needs to work on follow through and stay tough," etc. I want to say I'm sorry. So very sorry. Until you have that class, you have no idea. (There are some teachers who are still working on management that they have a hard time controlling any class... you can't count those gripes yet until they get their feet more wet.) Anyway, it's like before ever having kids, you judge the way people raise them and think to yourself, "I would never allow my kids to/do..." until you have a kid and realize that every kid is different and sometimes, you do what you need to. I am now a better person because I get it.
1. Find a way to bounce back.
I didn't want to start off my 9th year as a bitter old hag, so I reflected on what it was I needed after the year was over and took care of business. Like a snake shedding its skin, I needed a new environment, to shed the old feeling. I decided to take all of June to work in my room to just get some things fixed up and tackle the library reorganization project I've been wanting to do for some time. Cheers to next year!
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